Every once in awhile I'm able to step outside myself and suddenly be able to see right through my own bullshit.. The first time I remember this happening was when I was about 4. I have scant memory of my childhood. It's kind of pathetic. And what I do remember tends toward an intense feeling or realization more than some cute story about about my first grade teacher.

This first "stepping outside myself" memory dealt with playing board games. I was (am) quite competitive and when I lost I would get really upset, sometimes even throwing the game board across the room in frustration. Then one day - probably sparked by yet another game-inspired temper tantrum - I took an unexpected, crucial step outside myself and saw it all very clearly. I was able to acknowledge that, gee, none of the other kids seemed to get so upset. So clearly I was the one who had the problem.

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Last-modified: 2020-10-08 (木) 00:11:36 (105d)