nn I vote for telling the woman in the first scenario. If the dude is a liar, then you spare her the pain of getting married and later finding out he's a cheater. If they have an open relationship or she would just be pissed at you (although hopefully if you told her you didn't know he was in a relationship she wouldn't be) well no harm is really done, since it's not like you guys were friends to begin with.

Feb 19 11 at 8:01 pm lessthan I didn't get that advice either. I feel that if you see another person walking off a cliff, you call out. If you see someone being deceived, you try to tell them the truth. If the guy is in an open relationship, the worst that can happen is an uncomfortable conversation with the fiance. She might not be cool about meeting his hook-ups. If he isn't in a open relationship, then the worst that can happen (if they really do work for different companies) is that she calls you a liar and marries him anyway. However, you have done everything you could have. No regrets on your part.

Feb 19 11 at 3:56 pm @FJWB Welcome to the circus of unrequited love, dear. You can't pressure anyone into being sexually attracted to you, and if you could, the end prize wouldn't be as worth it anyway. If you've told your friend how you feel about her and she says that she still values your friendship enough to want to keep you around just as closely as ever, consider the depth of your feelings for her. One of your options is to take her answer as a gift, and reserve your romantic feelings for any of the other wonderful girls roaming the planet, wishing articulate guys like you would notice them. Another option is to walk away in order to keep your heart and junk intact. But please, please don't question her answer in a way that demeans her own ability to assess her wants and needs, and please keep in mind that she might have just been telling you that she wasn't attracted to you (but in a way designed to spare your feelings and make it not about you personally). I played the "asexual" card once with an acquaintance of mine who hit on me (and every other girl he knew) while he was experiencing serious mental health and anger management problems, just because I didn't want him to think that I was specifically rejecting him among all people, and because for all intents and purposes it was true at the time. (I'd never gone out with anybody, I'd never even slept with anyone or wanted to.) I still don't know if it was the right thing to do (we haven't contacted each other since our long conversation afterwards), but I hope it didn't set back the cause of true asexuality. Whatever identity your friend wants to lay claim to - "asexual," "Californian," "punk-rock," "Episcopalian," "New Age," "steampunk" - if she takes it seriously and not jokingly, then I think you should respect it, too, on her own terms and in her own words, if you care for her beyond caring for what she can do to please you.

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Last-modified: 2020-10-31 (土) 01:35:08 (84d)